One Day At A Time

This is what I need to keep telling myself. Only one day at a time and I can make it.

So my next day off is....I DON'T KNOW! Pretty weird. All weekend was the salon, this next week is Jamba, and then back to the Salon. I actually am looking forward to it. It helps me plan out my week and I am able to not waste time. My highlight of this past week was getting a pedicure with my mom! That was so nice. Now my toes are cute and happy! And I get to go back next month with my mom and Oma.

Since I have started at the salon I have really formed a love for pets. I have never been a big pet person because they are a lot of work. I really want a little dog to carry with me everywhere. Once again, something I have NEVER wanted. I think my mom is warming up to this.

I need to continue to think positive. Something this week has happened that makes me want to cry. I keep stressing over it but I really need to take it as a lesson to learn from. I guess sometimes I am too harsh and need to watch what I say.

Now I get to bust out an essay for English. Oh and NOTE TO SELF: Start writing in personal journal.

Hello Saturday

Well today isn't TECHNICALLY Saturday, but it is mine. (:

This past week I have worked 24 hours at the pet salon, 15 hours at Jamba, helped my mom with random chores, did 9+ hours of homework, AND read 3 books. Yeah, you can be amazed. haha.

Enough with my pride, the books I read were amazing! Oh my! I am finally glad I found something I could get through. I guess once I hit college I thought I had to read "adult books" but I don't. I am not going to explain the books I read because I am terrible at that. So I will just name them: Looking For Alaska by John Green and the first two books of the wake trilogy: Wake & Fade by Lisa McMann. From there I went to the library website and put on a hold on a bunch of books. I have been inspired to read the Uglies series thanks to an amazing review by Miss. Briana Fagan. (: So I am stoked to start those.


Hmmm. In other news...nothing really. From my scripture study there is a scripture that has really stood out in my mind.

Matthew 14:24 And Again I say unto you it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

This made me think about how I see money and material things in my life. I always want more or think I need more. Sometimes it is overwhelming and I do not feel like I am worth much but I need to remember the Heavenly Father and Christ will be there for me and when I am obedient than I will be blessed. Good, huh?

Well these is short but I am off to clean my room, read, and do some more homework! I have to do a podcast for my english class called "This I believe..." I just need to figure out what I believe in!!

Because she is a mother.

Yes, I took that title from Elder Holland's talk but I love that talk and have been thinking about it a lot lately. I especially been thinking about the lines he quotes at the very beginning from Victor Hugo, “She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness.‘She hath kept none for herself,’ grumbled the sergeant.‘Because she is not hungry,’ said a soldier.‘No,’ said the sergeant, ‘because she is a mother.’

Being a parent is probably the biggest responsibility given to a person. When I see kids my age, younger, or even older, that are doing the "wrong thing" I often think, "Where is your mother?" "What would your mother think?" or even, "Do you know that your mother loves you?" Everyone wants to be loved by a mother, but not everyone has that blessing. Look at the Lost Boys from Peter Pan, for example. Peter brought Wendy to NeverLand to be their Mother. Girls carry around dolls, mothering them and boys want their mommy to make it better. Even society recognizes this, example: Mcdonalds commercial where parents are fighting to give their son the happy meal, the dad ends up giving it to the boy but he replies with a, "Thanks Mom!"

With this, I have been reflecting on my own Mother. Today, I wasn't the best daughter, I will 100% admit I was disrespectful. However, my mother should always know how much I admire her. My mom is crazy, but the good crazy. I know my mom would kill for me and my brothers. I know my mother will do whatever she can for me. Looking at my mother's life I feel like I haven't accomplished half the things she has. At 16, my mother was on her own. At 18, she was married and traveled to a FOREIGN country to meet in laws she had never met. How did she do it? How can one person work up that courage? And me....well I don't even like going to the store alone. Sometimes I feel like she is unfair or she doesn't "get it". But she does, she gets it more than I could imagine. At least I don't have a mother like Precious did. If you havent seen that movie...YOU SHOULD! Be aware of the 100+ "f words". That is an example of what a mother SHOULD NOT BE!

Being a mother is something that I know I want to do. I love school and I love my major but in the end I know that being a mother is my calling from Heavenly Father. In my Patriarchal Blessing it talks about being a mother. That is probably my favorite thing. I know it will be hard and I know I will cry and fight but because I have such an amazing mother I can do it.

To conclude, here are somethings I admire about my mother, I should probably tell her.
* She is beautiful. Truly, inside and out. She is rough around the edges but she is genuinely beautiful.
* She is understanding. I can tell her ANYTHING and she won't judge me. She is my favorite liberal. (:
* She is giving. When my mom sees a homeless person, she gives them money without thinking. When she sees someone in trouble she tries her hardest to help them out.
* She gets her way. This woman can get you to refund her money you didnt know she could.
* She loves thrifting and gets excited about finding "new, old" things.
*She puts her kids first.
*She shares, even when she doesn't want to.
*She will take every kid to their favorite restaurant, in the same day, to make everyone happy.
*She makes yummy dinner
*She laughs at herself; she is HILARIOUS!
*She is in touch with more spiritual things then she thinks.
*She tries to be organized but isn't at all
*She sends me texts everyday saying she loves me.
*She wants me to be happy and believes in me.

So in the end, thanks Mom. You are the best. No matter what you think, everything I have accomplished is all because of you. I am sorry when I am a pain. I am sorry when I don't say these things enough and you don't feel it. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!

Its Sunday again

Today, I was the ONLY receptionist. This wasn't suppose to happen but I did it all by myself! I only had to call one of the other girls three times, not bad. And it was for legit reasons. For now on its going to me closing up shop. I felt so great about doing anything. I even wrote up the list on a word document so I could highlight everything. I am 100% sure I did everything right. This week has been so crazy. I have never felt so tired and happy. My feet are killing me, I need a pedicure. Tomorrow I work from three to seven at Jamba then I am off until Friday. From there I work five days in a row. woot.

This week I am going to go look at cats so I can adopt one. I found one online at the Seattle Human Society that I am in love with!! I cannot wait to meet her.

Besides being crazy busy all week, I was able to get all my homework done! It was great! I love my New Testament class! Learning about the Savior's life is really sweet. The more I read the closer I come to Him. I feel my testimony growing and I enjoy it. I feel like I can help my family out more as well. When my Oma comes here in the summer I really want to share the Gospel with her. I think I am so eager to share with her because it makes me so happy and I want to express that to her. I don't like sharing it with most people because I feel like they put me down. Being shut down for what you believe in is the most difficult thing to bear. That is a reason I am not a fan of "open minded" people, because they are not. I feel like I do a good job in not judging people.

Well I am going to go downstairs and grab a church movie and maybe even another piece of pumpkin pie!! (:

First Break Down

Maybe it is from all the work, maybe it is from the lack of socializing, or yet maybe it is because I am crazy. I will not go into details because I will sound pathetic but tonight I had the opportunity to be in my mom's room crying my eyes out. I have not cried like that in awhile and it was not even worth my time. I hate feeling like this. I hate doubting myself. I just need to get over it. I am sick of being told that I need to "better" myself. I don't think I am negative, I am realistic. Well I get to work two more days and get a day off. Oh joy. Highlight of my week: potentially adopt a kitty. Someone will love me. (:

Now I am going to watch My Best Friend's Wedding; the story of my life.